It never fails. The double stroller comes out and the spectacle begins. You’d think the circus was in town or something. Maybe I’ll stop waxing my face and really give them something to gawk at. “Ladies and gentlemen, step right up and see the bearded lady and her big headed twins!” Everyone has to stop me and ask stupid questions. What should be a quick 5 minute trip in the store ends up taking 20 minutes. Well I’m tired of being polite to these total strangers. Here are the top 5 most common questions I get when I go out. And the answers I’d really love to give if I wasn’t so darn polite1
Q: Oh, look! Are they twins?
A: No Sherlock, I just had them really close together.
Q: What are they?
A: What are you. . .stupid? They are babies. Of the human variety. A boy and a girl to be precise.
Q: (This question usually follows “What are they?”) Are they identical?
A: Do they look identical? Please refer to my previous answer. Twins of opposite sexes are never identical. Duh!
Q: How do you tell them apart?
A: Ummm. . .I can’t. I frequently have to take off their diapers to see which is which.
Q: Did you have them naturally?
A: None of your business be-yotch! But if you must know, they are 100% organic. . .no synthetic materials whatsoever.
5 comments:
Oh I love that post! I feel dumb though because I have asked people if they have twins before too!!! But I DO KNOW that boy/girl twins are never identical and I never ask if they are "real".!!! I am jealous you are going to the games this week! Have fun!
You need to just start rolling hardcore. Angie reminded me of a time when someone I had just met told me I reminded them of Jack Black. I told him he reminded me of an @$$hole.
Sorry it wasn't Jack black it was Silent Bob.
That is freaking a riot! I am still laughing. I am excited about the magazine thing.
he he!! This made me laugh and brought back horrible trips to the mall when the boys were little. Once you loose the stroller people quit asking stupid questions. Once some lady asked Jeff and I after the array of questions you posted if "they were Both ours?" The look on my face must have said more than I thought cuz she just left. That was the dumbest one I got.
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