4 Minutes

Justin Timberlake has been known to say that it takes longer than 4 minutes to save the world. In fact, he even helped Madonna pen a song about it. True dat, JT. What our former Mousketeer turned musical genius probably doesn’t know, however, is that twin toddlers can easily destroy our world in less than 4 minutes. It’s simple math, really. I don’t know why I didn’t see it coming.

2 toddlers
X terrible 2’s
4 minutes to destroy anything in sight

Take today for example. Brayden awoke from his nap early. He has regressed in the potty training area, so we had a grand celebration when I learned he stayed dry through the nap. He was so excited that when he ran into the bathroom he slammed the door so exuberantly that it shook the entire house. No joke. Of course, that woke up his twin sister as well as his baby sister. I tried not to make an issue of it and just reminded him we needed to be more careful with the doors. Then I grabbed a snack for Makenzie and told Brayden (who had already eaten his snack) to play quietly while I got the baby back to sleep. I just sat down to rock her when I heard Makenzie crying in the other room. I knew immediately what happened: Brayden had taken one of her Strawberry Newtons and eaten it. (Sigh.) Well, it wasn’t the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I had to get Alexis back to sleep or it was going to be a LONG afternoon for all of us. Just a minute later I heard more crying, this time from the kitchen. Even though I could tell that no one was injured my instinct was to go out there and lay down the law, but Alexis was just getting back to sleep in my arms. I had to get her down first. Total elapsed time in the nursery: 4 minutes.

As I walked into the great room, I saw the first wave of destruction: Strawberry Newton smashed to pieces all over the floor and the red, gooey filling smeared across the entertainment center. Well, I was partly right. He took it, he just didn’t eat it. I guess my SuperM.O.M extra sensory powers don’t work properly when I am sleep deprived. Then I walked into the kitchen to find Makenzie standing in a HUGE puddle of water crying that Brayden got her all wet. He was using the water dispenser on the fridge to fill up his “cup.” His “cup” is actually a toy that has holes in the bottom of it. I gave Makenzie a hug and calmed her down, grabbed a towel to clean up the mess and as I was lecturing Brayden I told him he needed to go stand in the corner and think about what he did. As I was walking him to the designated time-out corner I became speechless. Four feet of wallpaper had been ripped off of the wall in the entryway. “Stay calm,” I told myself as I clenched my jaw so tightly that I’m surprised I didn’t damage my dental work. The wallpaper was dated anyway. This gives me an excuse to try something new that I saw on HGTV in that area. Right. . .RIGHT?! Probably not. Amazingly enough I did not yell. I did not scream. I told Brayden to go into another room and stay out of my sight and I sent and angry (and a little profane) text message to Andy.

4 minutes to destroy the house.

How many minutes until Bedtime?