It never fails. The double stroller comes out and the spectacle begins. You’d think the circus was in town or something. Maybe I’ll stop waxing my face and really give them something to gawk at.
“Ladies and gentlemen, step right up and see the bearded lady and her big headed twins!” Everyone has to stop me and ask stupid questions. What should be a quick 5 minute trip in the store ends up taking 20 minutes. Well I’m tired of being polite to these total strangers. Here are the top 5 most common questions I get when I go out. And the answers I’d really love to give if I wasn’t so darn polite1
Q: Oh, look! Are they twins?
A: No Sherlock, I just had them
really close together.
Q: What are they?
A: What are you. . .stupid? They are babies. Of the human variety. A boy and a girl to be precise.
Q: (This question usually follows “What are they?”) Are they identical?
A: Do they look identical? Please refer to my previous answer. Twins of opposite sexes are never identical. Duh!
Q: How do you tell them apart?
A: Ummm. . .I can’t. I frequently have to take off their diapers to see which is which.
Q: Did you have them naturally?
A: None of your business be-yotch! But if you must know, they are 100% organic. . .no synthetic materials whatsoever.
Brayden is all smiles as he sports this season's must-have accessory: the baby bucket hat. Both fashionable & functional, his lid keeps the sun out of those beautiful blue eyes and allows him to enjoy the view from the tricked out yellow wagon that he shares with his sister. Next stop: the swings.
The twins also got to drive the shopping cart with the car on the front of it this week and had a ball. They are excellent drivers. I, on the other hand, need some practice. I hit a couple of displays trying to turn the corner. Oops!
